5 Status Totes and What They Say About Me
Two weeks ago, I was having lunch with my coworkers when someone asked, "If you could invest in one status bag, what would it be?"
Now, something you should know about me is that there is nothing in this dear world I love more than questions that use fashion to paint a picture of your inner psyche. After all, miles separate the woman who would invest in a Hermes Birkin from the woman who just dropped her rent on a Mulberry Alexa bag. By the time I reached 20 I had already decided what designer would make my wedding dress (Simone Rocha), what house would dress me if I ever went to the Oscars (Dior), what makeup artist would do my face (Charlotte Tilbury) and what designer I'd most want to have dinner with (it used to be Marc Jacobs but now it's got to be Raf Simmons). Sufice it to say, I was ready for this conversation to happen.
My coworkers started throwing names around like Celine's Nano tote and the classic Lady Dior bag. I've wanted a Bayswatter since I learned of Alexa Chung's existence, so I said that. But the experience got me thinking about the more attainable sides of fashion. After all, accessories are areas of investment for high fashion for those of us who can't afford a couture gown on the reg. Which brings me to the status tote.
Ranging in price from $25 to $75, a status tote needs to have only two qualities: 1) it must be made from a nondescript standard canvas material, and 2) display the brand's name somewhere on its front. As the raggedy cousin of the It Bag, the Statement Tote says to the world "Like you, I may not be able to afford a Balenciaga bag, but at least I have the fashion credentials to judge you about it." It's prestige and approachable at once, a primer on fashion iconography without being all "IT'S CALLED FASHION, LOOK IT UP!!". Case in point, I proudly own a poppy bright orange See by Chloe tote bag, which proudly proclaims "That's right world, I read Teen Vogue in 2008!".
The status tote needn't limit itself to the fashion industry, however. Think of all the people you've spotted carrying tote bags from Iovine Brothers, or the Strand, or St. Vincent's Fear the Future Tour (that is a really excellent status tote, btw). The point of the status tote isn't necessarily to pledge allegiance to a fashion house, but to act as a secret identifier of your particular tribe, whatever it may be. It tells the world that you have a point of view, and allows a member of your community to identify you as such, maybe even making contact over an inside joke. Your phones may have your Tinder bio, but passer-bys have status totes.
I was still ruminating on the conversation during my subway ride home, which quickly evolved into thinking about the kind of people that carry certain totes. Here's a lil list I wrote up.
Margaret Howell Tote
"I am a surprisingly lucid grandmother who wears all linen, shops at No. 6 and spent time in Florence. My stage name is Maggie Smith."
Melville House Bartleby Tote
"I derive equal pleasure from lively intellectual conversations and watching out-of-balance skateboarders do that thing where they sway violently for what seems like an age but is actually less than a minute and then fall on their faces with an indignant 'Dude!'. Ha ha! There is a 15% chance I voted third party."
Opening Ceremony Chloe Sevigny Logo Tote Bag From 2009 I Guess?
"I am a millennial who shops at the Glossier showroom (not online!) and sings along to Aqua ironically"
Loewe Toast Tote Bag
"I need you to know that I spent $1700 on this canvas bag"
New Yorker Tote
"I'm on Bumble."