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Quarantine Hack: The Wholesome Sounds of The Sound of Music

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I recently came to a surprising but admittedly not all that unexpected realization: musical soundtracks are downright delightful work companions in the age of Corona. From Hamilton to Hadestown, there’s something about people singing with purpose that makes me want to actually get stuff done. Chief among these is The Sound of Music, a musical so wholesome it could only be written by two dudes that sound like a touring carnival show. Most old-timey movies haven’t aged well (just look at Gone With the Wind, yikes) but there’s something about the Sound of Music that just feels like a soothing balm for the soul when you’re just Going Through It. This could be because real life is starting to feel a lot like the setting of the movie (mysterious Fed takeover in Portland, hackers wrecking havoc on the world, white women gone wild). It’s nice, then, that when the going gets horrible we can always put on our noise-cancelling headphones and listen to Julie Andrews singing about impostor’s syndrome and getting us through a rainstorm. Honestly, there should be a cult of personality around Julie Andrews. She genuinely makes me want to be a better person.

Here are some lessons I’ve learned from this whale of a wonderful movie:

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  • Nobody, not even a nun, is exempt from the joys of gossip.

  • It is very easy to tame unruly, rich white children, as long as you have an acoustic guitar.

  • Christopher Plummer could get it then and he can get it now. Yeah, I know he’s like 9000 years old. I said what I said.

  • Every movie should have an intermission. Are you listening, Christopher Nolan????

  • Patterned curtains make extremely stylish clothing.

  • Maybe don’t trust a guy who tells you he’s smarter than you because he’s a whole entire year older than you. I think I saw this movie for the first time when I was 12 years old and even then I was not surprised when Rolf turned out to be a Nazi. 12 year old me was like “Yup, that checks out.”

  • While we’re at it: Nazis are bad. Like, really bad. Like, maybe the worst.

  • Crossing the Alps to claim asylum and avoid capture by the Gestapo is an easy, nay, enjoyable family activity.

  • It can be hard but also extremely easy to choose to do the right thing.

  • Seriously, fuck Rolf.

Auf wiedersein!

-M