One of the worst things about the COVID-19 pandemic is that it has revealed how nice it actually is to hang out with other people. What the hell, Covid? I feel like the Grinch at the end of the movie, except we skipped all that fun parts when he terrorizes the village below him and goes right to learning a lesson. Ugh.

With no job and no actual plan to get back to, I’ve spent most of my quarantine cooking up several possible routines designed to keep life feeling as normal as possible, all of which have fallen apart almost immediately. Instead, I spend my days following what little desires float to the surface and hoping that all this time spent sitting down isn’t causing my body to grow a tail. In the interest of recording these things for posterity the next time I wail “BuT hOw CoUlD tHinGs Be WoRsE????”, here’s a list of things I’ve done to keep sane.

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• Made an inventory of all my books and came to the conclusion that I’ll probably never actually read 1/16th of them (why the fuck did I buy a lettering manual?).

• Cooked my way through “Nothing Fancy”, like a millennial Julie and Julia, except Alison Roman is alive and would probably make fun of my disdain for anchovies in some devastatingly clever way.

• Killed an enormous spider and cried while I did it

• Made an Barefoot Contessa size-approved Aperol Spritz and took a bath.

• Baked more cakes in two weeks than I have in the past two years

• Watched every studio Ghibli film and discovered, to my horror, that I don’t like Kikki’s Delivery Service (nothing happens! And her cat is mean! Screw your adorable Halloween costumes, this movie sucks!)

• Seriously contemplated starting a weed habit

• Laid in my couch and listened to the instrumental part of the Marie Antoinette soundtrack while staring at my radiator.

• Got dressed in exercise clothes and unrollled my yoga mat in the living room for Yoga with Adrienne, only to shut it off as soon as poor Adrienne started talking.

• Rewatched seasons 1 through 2 of Fleabag and followed along with the scriptures as if I was in some kind of millennial witch lady BBC church.

• Watched the Normal People trailer and thought “am I the only one who thinks this trailer is making it look like Marianne and Connell are, like, cheating on their lifelong partners with each other?”. That sexy music tone is too intense, Hulu. This isn’t The Affair. CHILL.

• Subscribed to Haley Nahman’s newsletter and actually read the whole thing because, you know what? It was very sweet.

• Cried through “The Two Popes” and “Angels and Demons” like the recovering Catholic weirdo I am.

• Harassed my sister daily for pictures of her new puppy like some kind of deranged admirer who can’t take a hint.

• Folded all my clothes in the KonMari method like it’s 2018 all over again

• Developed a very strong contempt for corporate newsletters that start with the phrase “In these uncertain times”. Who do you think you are, FDR? Stop doing this!

Stay safe, watch Fleabag, wash them hands. Oh, and don’t come near me.

-M

Design: Ed Illustrates

I know I have claimed this once before already, but let me very quietly back up on my word and pretend you never heard that. This is it. This is The Shirt. There is no Other. It’s the kind of shirt where, if you wear it, men will ooh and ahh and say, “there he goes… Mr. Steal - Your- Girl,” rendered speechless by your skill at Stealing The Girl. I’m a feminist and all, but I’m also just a simple mortal. And no simple mortal can deny this baskeball-ass spider lookin dude. It’s the best of times, it’s the worst of times. It’s six long blond hairs clinging on for dear life, or a sun with sunglasses on it. It’s Gritty, probably.

It’s designed by Ed Illustrates on everpress and I’m pretty sure it’s only available for a few more days to order. I suggest you jump on it before it jumps on you.

Regards,

-M

Illustration by Angela Hsieh. Credit.

It’s been a while! I make no apologies! Here are some things I’ve been reading on the internet!

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1. In Unconventional Life Hack: Always Help Your Friends Move , Gyan Yankovich makes the case for going the extra mile for your friends, especially it if involves pivoting their sofa on the staircase of their five floor walk-up until you both want to throw said sofa down the stairs and yourselves with it. Because that’s how real friendships are built.

2. Also from Man Repeller, Mallory Rice makes a strong case for setting new year’s resolutions that you can complete in a day. It’s frankly genius, because 24 hours are exactly the ammount of patience I have for self-improvement. Her New Year’s resolution? Eat Nora Ephron’s favorite hot dog. My resolution? Have dinner at the Chinese restaurant across the street. Productivity is productivity.

3. Way back in June of last year, Throughline (an excellent history podcast from NPR) released an episode on just what the hell is going on with white Evangelicals in the U.S. It’s terrifying, and I highly recommend it.

4. Final dispatch from Man Repeller: a list of newsletters you’d actually opening.

5. I made this lemon yogurt cake in my shitty dorm kitchen last year and it kept me fed for breakfast for an entire week. Don’t sleep on it!

Salutations (gross),

-M

It’s currently -500 degrees in Edinburgh, so excuse me while I remind myself that summer does exist somewhere, as shown by my favorite summery paintings from Joaquin Sorolla. Joke’s on you, Seasonal Affective Disorder! I studied art history!!!!!!

The Drinking Jug,

till the winds blow us together again.

-M

Discover a rare short film tribute in which Leonard Bernstein talks about all three works performed in the new Bernstein "Homage to Stravinsky" DVD (ICAD5124). This video also features documentary sequences of Stravinsky himself.

Don’t you love bromances? My favorite one is the between cool signature-haver Leonard Bernstein and unlikely Coco Chanel boyfriend Igor Stravinsky. Bernstein thought Stravinsky was pretty much a genius, going so far as to call him “the giant of this century”, so much so that he made a short film tribute to the Russian composer. In the film Bernstein talks about works like the Rite of Spring and the Symphony of Psalms. There’s even some good footage of Igor himself conducting an orchestra, discussing the riot his Rite of Spring premiere caused in Paris, and waving a stetson at a bunch of yeehawing cowboys, which have all the makings of a great Wednesday night.

PS: If you can’t get enough of Bernstein’s Professor Julliard realness, you can hear a whole playlist of his music lectures on Spotify under “Classical Music Explained: Bernstein’s Music Lectures”.

-M